<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v191/tsaki/523f197b.bmp">

how do you find your soul, child of bhaal? do you find it on a stroll? no, you must know yourself, the depths of your passion, and the heights of your depravity. you come to know what you are capable of, and that shall open the way to your soul. it is yourself, your essence, that you seek...

pride to main character
bg2: shadows of amn

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/25/2005 06:17:00 PM

Saturday, October 22, 2005

today i got a proud that'smygoodgirl from my mom. today my dad sat up strong by himself, asked for the morning paper, and did the crossword, just like he used to. today i'm hanging with my baby brother.

today there are many little things to be grateful about. and today, all the other hurts and heartaches in my life can go fuck themselves because right here and right now, all is sunshiney in chuckworld.

***

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/22/2005 06:30:00 PM

Saturday, October 15, 2005

according to the angel, "The picture attached is used to test the level of stress a person can handle.The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress.Alleged criminals that were tested saw them spinning around madly; however, senior citizens and kids see them standing still. FYI none of these images are animated.. they are perfectly static."

ah basta, it's trippy.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

***

and if an online quiz says so, it MUST be true. diba?

Dominant Personality: Innocence

Good Traits: You're bubbly and bright. You
ask a lot of questions, and can make anyone
smile.

Bad Traits: You're too naive. People will
step all over you.

You're Most Like: Calm. You're laid back,
and don't get much accomplished. But you have
more energy than someone who's calm.

You Need More: Fear. You run into dangerous
situations without a care, and find yourself
trapped. Be aware, and listen to your instinct.

What's your dominant trait? (10 unique results)
brought to you by Quizilla

shaddup, cwiff. you said so yourself last night. i DO look innocent with the bangs and wide eyed look. hahahaha.

thanks to shiro for the quiz.

***

i really must stop drinking. i can't shake off this feeling of ick.

***

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/15/2005 02:45:00 PM

i've said it before, and i'll say it again. a girl's gotta have her secrets. they're such a deliciously good thing to have. *smirk*.

***

the nice thing with alcohol is reaching that certain high and knowing that you can do just about anything.

of course, that's also what's going to come back to chomp you hard on the ass.

well, i am now the proud new owner of a three inch dragon. it's scaring the shit out of me but at least it's purty.

***

slider and i friends again. i still think he's a lying sack of shit, but it's all good, because at the end of the day, it's about getting what i want.

***

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/15/2005 12:09:00 PM

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

this is barbaric. some things are sacrosanct. no one really should mess with the smurfs, man. HOW COULD THEY?!? BRING SMURFETTE BACK, DAGNABBIT!!!

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* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/12/2005 05:27:00 PM

apparently, the combination of kelly's looks, money, and my brains (his brilliant plan, not mine) was pretty damn potent. we arrived at the oyster bar and not only did we manage to get a table, we also proceeded to get every so pleasantly sloshed. (the hangover, however, is an entirely different story. spent the better part of this morning begging two friends to shoot me and put me out of my misery. that didn't quite work out the way i expected.) beer, oysters, conversation with a great friend - last night was pretty good. it was something i needed, the chance to just hang with my bud, and i may have gone a teensyweensy bit overboard with the smb, considering that it's been a while since i've binged. but who am i kidding? october wouldn't be october without the par-lasheng-na-ako-experience. i don't think i'll be drinking like that again for a while, though.

big brothers are nice. they make the world go round. they watch out for your ass, give you hell when you screw up, and offer to beat up the ones who hurt you. they're there for you no matter what, loving you platonically through hell and high water, and doing their damndest to keep you out of trouble. it's a nice feeling knowing that someone's got your back like that.

now if i could just convince him to be my will...

***

it's a bitch posting twice, but i'll do it anyway because i'm strange like that.

***

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/12/2005 04:48:00 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005

mirrormask by neil gaiman and dave mckean is out. if any of you went to the gaiman booksigning last july (i'm still in lurve with him, by the hoo), you'd know that it's an upcoming movie with kickass graphics that the two did an excellent job on. well, apparently they've come up with a children's book version (read the chapter excerpt here), and have thus given me another reason to get out of the house and head for fully booked, where i am bound to get myself into more credit card trouble.

*sigh* i really shouldn't. but we all know i will. because i'm pasaway that way.

***

have new song that i'm aliw with. i'm not sure if i find it oddly funny or just plain stalkersad. it's actually an old song that i just heard again recently, and it brought me back to highschool. god, i feel so old. does anyone else even remember how hot evan dando was?

if i was in the fridge, would you open the door? if i was the grass, would you mow your lawn? if i was your body, would you still wear clothes? if i was a booger, would you blow your nose? would you keep it? would you eat it? i'm just tryin to give myself a reason for being around.

if i was the front porch swing would you let me hang? if i was the dance floor would you shake your thang? if i was a rubber check would you let me bounce up and down inside your bank account? would you trust me not to break you? i'm just trying really hard to make you notice me being around.

if i was a haircut would you wear a hat? if i was a maid, could i clean your flat?
if i was the carpet would you wipe your feet in time to save me from mud off the street? if you liked me, if you loved me won't you get down on your knees and scrub me? i'm a little grubby from being around.

being around
the lemonheads

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* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/10/2005 06:17:00 PM

Saturday, October 08, 2005

i just wanted to say this.

i wuv you, freeway. and i miss you heaps. we go drinky when you get back and we will kwento s'more.

laag 'ta, bai!

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* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/08/2005 02:53:00 PM

when you have way too much idle time on your hands, it's very easy to fall in the trap of self absorption, and when that happens, feeling sorry for yourself just seems to come ohsonaturally. you dwell on the life you wish you could have, of the things you could be doing given just a little bit of freedom.

it's not a day at the amusement park, i can tell you that much.

for the past few days, i've been holed up in my room, moping and sulking, totally consumed by the monster everysthingisaboutmememenarcissist that tends to come out on occasion (contrary to popular belief, i am not always THAT self absorbed), and generally not having a good time. my lungs hurt from smoking way too many cigarettes, and there's a bad taste in my mouth from the crap tequila mixer that i made with apple and blackcurrant juice (don't ask - all i know is that it seemed like a good idea at the time). i've also managed to run up my phone bill, pick a fight with slider (this one he may have deserved), semi agreed to go out on a date that doesn't really thrill me (thank god i gave myself enough time to cancel), and argued endlessly with the poohbah just for the sake of being contrary (okay, i admit it). when you're bored and sulky, you'll do anything just for the sake of doing it. (i must say, however, that i didn't quite hit rock bottom. i did have the sense to beg the angel that under no circumstances should she give the f.p. my phone number.)

and then i spend the afternoon with my dad, and click. things just shifted back into perspective.

he needs me. and this is no time to whine and gripe about my lack of a life, about how bored i am. chin up, chuck. you know what you have to do.

***

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/08/2005 02:24:00 PM

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

dear, dear. how queer everything is to-day! and yesterday things went on just as usual, i wonder if i've changed in the night? let me think: was i the same when i got up this morning? i almost think i can remember feeling a bit different. but if i'm not the same, the next question is, 'who in the world am i?' ah, that's the great puzzle!

lewis carroll
alice in wonderland

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* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 10/04/2005 02:51:00 PM