<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v191/tsaki/523f197b.bmp">

...twiddling thumbs, waiting for the husband to get back from driving school so we can go to the grocery...

and news from the upside:

baby is currently at 15.5 weeks and has a strong steady heartbeat. i was worried that something might've gone wrong cos i didn't think my tummy was getting as big as it should be (it's pretty big, though, but that's mostly due to my aversion to working out), but hearing the heartbeat put me at ease. strange, though - i coulda sworn i was still at 14 weeks, but the doctor spun around her strange round calendar calculator thang and said i was at 15, so i decided not to argue with her.

still on the fence whether to find out or not whether baby is a she or a he. on one hand, i'm DYING to go shopping for baby goodies, but on the other, they're not 100% sure anyway, and i'd love to have that moment of "it's a ! surprise!" when i see him/her for the first time. i still have 5.5 months or so to figure it out anyways, so here's hoping my eq will hold.

i restart work on monday. it's an out-of-towner (sta rosa *is* considered out of town) but i won't have to do any long-distance driving, thanks to my wonderfully concerned boss, so, yay! pretty psyched for that. i've been on bed rest for 2 months, and under house arrest for another 3 weeks, so getting back in the swing of things is something i'm very much looking forward to. i just hope i'll be able to stay awake.

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 7/09/2011 11:02:00 AM

Monday, June 27, 2011

MUM, upon hearing that I had a doctor's appointment this Wednesday: Bring your yaya!

ME: What for?

MUM: Just so you have kasama. She can bring your bag for you and stuff.

Things to know: I am 32 years old. Currently pregnant, and deemed "high-risk" by my OB-GYNE. Hence my mum's insistence that I bring my yaya, who, for all intents and purposes, is only my yaya in the sense that she nannies everyone in the family, and not just me.

Still, the thought of me bringing my yaya to my doctor's appointment filled me with such dread (what will people say?!?) that I quickly reassured Mommy Dearest that I was capable of carrying my own handbag without risking Baby, and that I would be picking up The Husband on the way to the hospital.

Seriously. Five years from now, I can completely imagine Mum yelling "Hold your yaya's hand when you cross the street!", and Baby and I will automatically do so.

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 6/27/2011 06:56:00 PM

Friday, June 24, 2011

i love reese's peanut butter cups. and one day, when i'm not feeling lazy, i fully intend to attempt this recipe.

i'm drooling, just thinking about it.

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 6/24/2011 04:10:00 PM

Monday, June 20, 2011

over the weekend, i lost a colleague and a friend.

i didn't so much lose her as in misplaced her, or even had a fight with her and yelled things at her like "i hate you! i never want to see you again!" or anything of that sort. i lost her in the most terrible way - i lost her because someone brutally decided to take her away from a world that was so much brighter by having her in it.

we weren't superfriends, not really. but we were the kind of friends that, if we came across each other, would eagerly say hullo and spend at least ten minutes playing catch up. when we still worked together, meals were shared, confidences exchanged, secrets whispered. it had been around three years since i saw her last, but i never figured that the last time i saw her in the grocery would be the last.

the details are vague and sorely lacking. she'd been waiting for her boyfriend last saturday at around 630ish, and that was it, that was the last post she made on fb. then, come sunday, the shocking news report that her body was found, hogtied, bloodied, and stabbed 26 times all over. 26 times. like whoever behind it took a perverse delight in brutalizing her.

i thik about it, and i still shake my head. like this can't be real. that this sort of thing can't happen, not to someone i know, not to someone who was such a scrappy little fighter and lover of life. and i cry for the children and family she left behind.

most of all, though, i cry for her. i worry about how our authorities and justice system will not be good enough to find the assholes responsible for this and bring them to justice.

in filipino superstition, if someone dies from a crime, and the ones responsible are nowhere to be found, a chick is placed on the coffin of the victim. the pecking of the chick on the glass is supposed to peck on the conscience of the murderer as well. does it work? who knows. crimes come and go in this country - and usually, only the high-publicity ones get prioritized.

rest in peace, my friend. i hope and pray you get the justice that you deserve.

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 6/20/2011 05:01:00 PM

Thursday, June 09, 2011

just because i find this fascinating, and i know i'm bound to forget about it the moment something sparkly catches my attention, i am blogging to remind myself that i find these two pages awesome:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/25-everyday-things-you-never-knew-had-names
and
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/25-acronyms-you-never-stopped-to-figure-out

of course, with the way that i've been so bored lately, i just may turn away from my comic books and hp marathons (both books and movies) and start blogging again.

maybe.

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 6/09/2011 08:09:00 PM

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

so i haven't posting as much as i should've. between the wedding stress and all, i've been kinda busy.

tried to made a journal for my future kid, but i haven't been either. i once told myself that i'd do that, just so my future id would have a memory of me as a real person, not as a person. and truth be kown, i've had so much t make kwento about, but i never made the time to do so. that;ll change, though.

not sure if anyone still reads this, but this blog has always been my release. so let me end it with this:

OMG! OMG! OMG! AEROSMITH!!!!

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 2/15/2011 11:13:00 PM

Friday, December 12, 2008

there was a time when i wrote about how much i wanted, but not on borrowed time.

in hindsight, i can say this much.

borrowed time is better than no time at all.

***

I said,
"God, I hurt."
And God said,
"I know."
I said,
"God, I cry a lot."
And God said,
"That is why I gave you tears."
I said,
"God, I am so depressed."
And God said,
"That is why I gave you Sunshine."
I said,
"God, life is so hard."
And God said,
"That is why I gave you loved ones."
I said,
"God, my loved one died."
And God said,
"So did mine."
I said, "God, it is such a loss."
And God said,
"I saw mine nailed to a cross."
I said,
"God, but your loved one lives."
And God said,
"So does yours."
I said,
"God, where are they now?"
And God said,
"Mine is on My right. Yours is in the Light."
I said,
"God, it hurts."
And God said,
"I know."

***

some people, when you lose, you cry and you think it's the end of the world. and then after a while, you realize, hey, this loss wasn't so bad. in fact, i don't even care anymore.

some losses, though, will be with you forever. they will change you. you see things different. you yourself change. you either take less bullshit or become more forgiving.

personally, for me, i think it's the former.

* tsakiwaki made kwento @ 12/12/2008 10:30:00 PM