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neil gaiman, parliament of rooks
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But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel gabriel
I can love
But I need his heart
I am strong even on my own
But from him I never want to part
He been there since the very start
My angel gabriel
My angel gabriel
Bless the day he came to be
Angel wings carried him to me
Heavenly
I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel gabriel
My angel gabriel
My angel gabriel
just make sure you damned well know how to swim. or have those little floaty thingies. otherwise, that's just plain stupidity in action.
come to think of it, exploring the ocean lounging about on the deck of a fabulous yacht being waited on hand and foot and sipping colourful non-alcoholic drinks with little umbrellas stuck on them sounds like a pretty nifty idea.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
as always, it's good seeing the old alcoholics, even though two of them didn't drink, one could no longer stand the taste of beer, and the only one who DID drink proved damned near impossible to wake up (i wub you, wiffy).
freaking white castle. freaking ministop. but i loved them seaweed flakes. and kumar rocks.
***
i can fly but i want his wings i can shine even in the darkness but i crave the light that he brings revel in the songs that he sings...
forced the boy into the friend zone. sabotaged the whole crush issue. wiffy asked if i was starting to regret doing so yet, but it had to be done for the sake of my sanity. i don't like losing my head over a guy. been there waaaaaaaaay too many times for comfort (shaddup, grams), and i'm really and truly getting too old for this shit. like i said, if i'm going to walk, i might as well do it now before i get in way over my head.
but he really is a super guy. and i really do like him. buggeritall.
now, if i could just keep my sticky little hands off him, i'll do JUST fine.
***
don't tell me when something is beautiful & don't tell me how to talk to my friends just tell me the names of the stars in the sky what's your favourite song tell me the names of the lovers you had before i came along don't put your arms around me & don't hold me tight cause i could get used to your vision of paradise & don't ask me where all of the pain goes cause you make me feel that i don't know myself you say that you want me forever & i say that love is no crime so tell me the names of the children we'll have at the end of the line so don't put your arms around me & don't hold me tight cause i could get used to your vision of paradise & don't let me near the garden of earthly delights cause i could get used to your vision of paradise of paradise of paradise just use your heart not your head while i fall apart in my bed i find myself aching for you i feel myself breaking in two so don't tell me when i should come on home there might be a time you don't want me around don't build your world around me & don't hold me tight cause i could get used to your vision of paradise
performed by the rolling stones
written by rob thomas
Monday, August 23, 2004
as far as i'm concerned, you're either in or you're out, yknow? but naturally, i've been receiving a shitload of advice on how to hook the non-date and how to reel him in, how to tell if he's serious, and whatnot. and i'm like, wtf? i have to work on this?!? i mean, screw it all to kingdom come. if i wanted to work on a relationship, i'd salvage what the heart and i have left, thankyouverymuch. at least, that way, i know what i'm in for. i know what the guy looks like first thing in the morning, his moods, his idiosyncracies. plus it'll make the 'rents happy.
don't get me wrong. the boy is a very nice boy (although i've been hearing horror stories about the crowd he goes about with - birds of a feather and all that). and i like him. i suppose.
but that's the thing. like i said, you're either in or not. i don't have the patience for games. it's like making tawad at a tiangge. i'm probably the worst tawad-er that ever walked the halls of greenhills. magkano yan? p500? p450, puede? hinde? punyeta, eh di wag na lang. you name your price, you decide how much you're willing to shell out, and if you don't get what you want at the onset, why waste your time wheedling and dealing? isn't the city like a big tiangge anyhoo? if you don't get what you want in one stall, chances are, you'll find it somewhere else.
besides, to tell you the truth, i'm not even sure what i want out of this. i mean, what's the use in testing the poor sob to see if he's serious when i seriously doubt that's what i want to get out of this?
ack. HASSLE!!! when did dating become such a freaking bitch???
Saturday, August 21, 2004
so.
there's this boy, right?
well, perhaps boy isn't the best word to describe him. man/guy/feller type of person might be better. but still. you know what i mean.
so i've been ambling along, focusing on work (which i still love to pieces, intriga and stress and all), and trying not to deal with the issue of the heart. ayoko ng hassle. why deal with unnecessary stress after all? if it ain't broke, don't fix it. and even if it IS broke, don't fix it if you don't know how.
the last fight the heart and i had took a little more out of me than it should have. okay, so technically, we're not together anymore. still, it's a bit hard to do the whole we-are-no-longer-together-therefore-we-should-no-longer-talk thingymajigy, considering the fact that we still care a lot about each other. he was here for the past two weekends, and we met up - the first time being for pizza, the second was to watch the village (m.night, you are a genius!!!). we had established an uneasy truce of sorts - no one mentioned the argument, no one dealt with it. i figured it wasn't my job anymore.
but anyhoo.
so, like i was saying, there's this boy/man/guy/feller type of figure.
i knew him from before. he's actually the kabarkada of a girlfriend's now-ex. we sortofakinda went out before, but things were complicated, so nothing really came out of it. we'd still see each other on occasion, but i was always seeing someone else. ayaw niya ng hassle, i suppose. besides, he was a good boy, and good boys scare me. it's like being in the glass/crystal department of a store - you don't want to make any big sudden movements cause you're scared shitless of breaking something.
the last time i saw him was during my friend's despedida, and i was playing pool with kooks and the heart. the heart left to get something from the car, and then the boy appeared, and we started talking. the heart came back, saw me talking to the boy, and had a fit later on the way home. i remember how i thought how strange that was at that time. of all of the boys at that party the heart saw me talking to, the boy was the only one he got jealous over.
but anyhoo.
so, about this boy?
i had the best non-date i ever had last night. i use the word non-date because date sounds so scary, so ma-pressure, and i neither needed nor wanted that. we had drinks (iced tea for six-months-sober -yours- truly, light beer for him) and picapica at a place near where i work. introduced him to a couple of friends from work who walked me to where he was (curious to see the non-date, i suppose) and to burr, who dropped by to rant. and we just talked, for a couple of hours, playing catch up, comparing then and now. he remembered conversations between us i'd long forgotten, and i thought that was sweet. he also followed me home to make sure i arrived safely, carried my paper bag (i'm lazy, so the commuter mugs and utensils i use at work have to be brought home for the maid to wash), said good evening to my mom, and generally made me feel very well taken care of.
it went straight to my head, let me tell you that, and i went to sleep smiling. it's been a while. it really has. and i was thinking, this is it. this is how every guy should treat the girl he's going out with. this is how i'd like to be treated, given the choice. being one of the boys is a blast, but not all the time. sometimes a girl just has to be treated like a princess, yknow?
so, basically, i'm pretty happy in a giddy sort of way. he's asked me out for later - i don't know where or what time, but i'm pretty psyched about it. i'm just trying to ignore the little voice in my head that's asking, what about the heart? i mean, it's not like i'm doing something i'm not supposed to, so i really don't know where this guilt is coming from.
besides, i deserve this, dammit.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
*whimpers* i hate needles.
and to add to this world's injustice, i walk away with a collapsed vein (very sensitive veins, you see, with feelings that are easily hurt, so everyone MUST be kind), while my fabulously gay teammate gets a calling card from the cute doctor with the invite to "call him for any problem" s/he might have.
puñeta.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
john dee, preludes and nocturnes
neil gaiman
sale at powerbooks. twenty off graphic novels. it's never nice being broke the day after you get your paycheque, but oh, it's so worth it.
***
delirium stands in dream's gallery, waiting for his return. remembering:
the moment she realized what was happening, that the universe was changing, that she was growing up or at least growing older...
she was no longer delight; and the blossoms had already begun to fall in her domain, becoming smudged and formless colors, and she had no one to talk to...
then she went to see him. she remembers the light glinting gold in his beard and eyelashes. and he put his arm around her shoulders and they stood on the hill (because this was on earth in the dawn days, even then he spent a lot of time on earth).
and he said, "del, it's okay." and then he shut up, and then she started giggling uncontrollably, and he didn't say anything, he just held her until she gained control once more. they watched the sunset for a bit.
then he said, "del. things are changing."
she knew it was true.
and there was nothing she could do about it.
written by neil gaiman
illustrated by jill thompson and vince locke
published by dc vertigo
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
